Take Your Pants Off!!!

Dear Dreamers,

Guess what today is?!! Guess? Well I guess you can’t really guess. Well you can but I wouldn’t know that you are guessing. Anyone else already confused? Anyway, you know how there are like national donut day and national BFF day. Well I was wondering what today is and I found out that it is National Scotch day, (haha. That’s everyday people!! Stay in school kids.) and it’s National Take your pants for a walk day. Isn’t that amazing? Well it is to me and it should be for you as well. We take our pants for granted. We need to thank them. If you still don’t understand what I’m saying, GET OFF THE FUCKIN COUCH AND APPRECIATE YOUR FUCKIN PANTS. Do you understand now? ¬†Aren’t I the nicest? I know, I know I’m fuckin great. Anyway when I first heard, well not really heard because no one told me – how dare them. Y’all should be ashamed of yourselves – I had to search it up. Anyway, when I first found out that it was national take your pants out for a walk day I thought that it meant that you were supposed to take your pants off and put them on a leash and then go for a walk. Yep, that’s the first thing that I think. What does that say about me? I know y’all don’t have to say it. I know that you guys are in love with me. Who wouldn’t be, other than that old man I ran over. Well not yet but when I do get my license, then I know he won’t like me. I already know that I’m going to kill or almost kill someone when I get behind the wheel of a car. What do you guys think? Just by reading my blog, how do you think I’ll be operating a vehicle? Anyway, what was I saying? Oh yes, so that’s the first thing that came to my mind. I know I’m just so brilliant. Wow I really need to stop using the words I, and I know. Well technically, I know is two words but what ever. I’m just really self absorbed and don’t give a damn about any of y’all. I’m a narcissist, we all are but I don’t know ( a lot of things) I just love me more. Anyway, even if I was to – okay almost did – go out with my pants on a leash it wouldn’t be that uncommon. I don’t think my neighbors expect any less from me. But yea, that’s all I wanted to say. I dedicated a whole post to taking off my pants. And all I want to say is that – I know I can’t judge you cuz I’m the one writing this. But I’m going to anyway – anyone who is reading this, if there’s anyone reading this, (I know I use a lot of commas) do you like not have a life or something? I mean I already know I don’t have one, that’s why I waste my “precious” time writing this. Anyway back on track, (haven’t been on track for years) do you just do nothing in the day? If I actually get likes and comments on this I’ll be:

  • Flattered
  • Think more of my self than I already do ( you don’t want that)
  • Be a douche ( I already am)
  • and then be ashamed that I actually have people reading this. Wow I get it I’m amazing, no need to stalk me. But I also understand, If I was you I would want to stalk me too.

Okay, bye bye. I have to go find food. It’s been too long since I last ate. 1o hardest minutes of my life. Not joking.

Sincerely not caring about your feelings,

Reality Check.